Fuck Marty
Because Someone Had to Say It
Welcome to the official repository of truth about Marty— the self-proclaimed genius who somehow manages to sell lies, steal ideas, and demonstrate a breathtaking lack of understanding about basic accounting and finance. Oh, and he's shady as hell too.
Tired of the BS? You're not alone.
Marty's Greatest Hits
A carefully curated collection of lies, half-truths, and complete fabrications. Because someone needs to keep track of the BS.
Marty's specialty is promising the moon and delivering... well, nothing. He'll tell you it's revolutionary, game-changing, industry-disrupting—but it's just hot air wrapped in buzzwords. Classic snake oil salesman tactics.
According to Marty, he's behind every success story you've ever heard. Spoiler alert: he's not. He just happens to be really good at taking credit for other people's work. Pattern recognition at its finest.
He claims to be an expert in everything—finance, tech, marketing, you name it. Reality check: he doesn't understand basic accounting principles. But hey, confidence can fool a lot of people... for a while.
Marty loves launching "revolutionary" projects that somehow never materialize. Where do they go? Nobody knows. But rest assured, he'll have another one next week with the same empty promises.
* And this is just scratching the surface. The list goes on...
The Idea Thief Chronicles
A timeline of Marty's shameless plagiarism and intellectual property theft. Because originality is overrated when you can just steal from others, right?
The "Revolutionary" Business Model
Marty presents a 'groundbreaking' business strategy that turns out to be a carbon copy of what someone else pitched three months ago. He'll swear it's original, but the PowerPoint slides tell a different story.
The Rebranded Innovation
Take an existing concept, slap a new name on it, and call it innovation. That's Marty's MO. He's like a human Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V machine, except he forgets to change the font.
The "Inspired By" Hustle
When confronted about stealing ideas, Marty claims he was "inspired by" the original creator. Translation: he copied it entirely and hoped nobody would notice. They noticed.
The Latest Heist
His newest venture? Suspiciously identical to a project that was pitched to him in confidence. But sure, Marty, it's just a coincidence. We totally believe you.
Pro Tip for Marty
Here's a wild idea: try coming up with your own concepts for once. We know it's a revolutionary thought, but original ideas might actually get you further than recycled garbage.
Accounting 101: Failed
Where do we even start? Marty's understanding of finance is about as deep as a puddle. And yet, he insists on making financial decisions. Bold strategy.
Can't Balance a Budget
Marty thinks 'balance sheet' is a type of bedding. Ask him about EBITDA and watch him panic. His financial planning consists of hoping for the best and blaming others when it fails.
Revenue vs. Profit Confusion
In Marty's world, revenue and profit are the same thing. Expenses? What expenses? He's convinced that money coming in automatically means success. Someone should introduce him to the concept of 'costs'.
Financial Projections Fiction
His financial projections are more fantasy than reality. He just multiplies random numbers and calls it 'exponential growth.' Spoiler: the numbers never add up, but confidence sells.
Cash Flow Catastrophe
Marty doesn't understand cash flow. He thinks having money in the bank means the business is healthy, even when liabilities are through the roof. It's not looking good, Marty.
Tax Time Disaster
Tax season is when Marty's accounting ignorance really shines. He's genuinely surprised every year when the accountant explains that yes, you do have to pay taxes on that income.
The Verdict
Marty running a business with his level of financial knowledge is like letting a toddler perform brain surgery. It's not going to end well, but it's certainly entertaining to watch from a safe distance.
Have Your Own Marty Story?
We're always collecting new tales of Marty's shenanigans. Share your experiences, vent your frustrations, or just say hello.
Contact Us
Drop us a line. We'd love to hear from you.
Email us at
[email protected]Whether you've been burned by Marty's lies, had your ideas stolen, or witnessed his financial illiteracy firsthand—your story matters. Let's expose the truth together.
All submissions are handled with discretion. We're here to expose the truth, not to start unnecessary drama. Well, maybe a little drama.